Marriage Can Wait…And it Definitely Did for David Letterman

30 03 2009

David Letterman and Regina Lasko

At the ripe age of 62, funny guy David Letterman finally decided to leave his bachelorhood behind him and marry his long term girlfriend Regina Lasko.  Although the couple had an established relationship, it took them over 23 years to tie the knot.  That’s gotta be some kind of record!  David Letterman definitely makes a lot of guys out there who’s impatient girlfriends are “feed up with waiting so long for them to propose,” look really good.

The newly wed can offer us all some sound relationship advice…Wait to get married!  With divorce rates now approaching 50%, there is a serious need for people to take their sweet time and stop rushing into marriage.  Before you decide to lock it up with one person for the rest of your life…make sure you have had your fair share and then some of freedom, independence, selfishness, and booty, booty, booty!

So what made the commitment-phobe finally decide to pop the question?  David reveled his “Top 10” Reasons for Getting Married on the David Letterman show.  Here they are:

10. Poconos offers newlyweds a free room with a champagne-glass jacuzzi.

9. If  I’m gonna catch Larry King, I’d better get going.

8. Still drunk from Saint Patty’s, dude.

7. She needed a green card.

6. When you’re my age and look like I do, If someone says they’ll marry you, you do it.

5. Don’t have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.

4. I finally fit into my dream dress!

3. Free cake.

2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.

1. Figured at the least, we’d get a mediocre Top 10 out of it.

Hopefully at the least that makes you laugh, and at the most, gives you some serious insight into why marriage can wait!


Leanne Rimes Booty Call

23 03 2009

If you’re not getting any at home, then you must be getting it somewhere!  Which brings me to the subject of the latest in celebrity gossip… Leanne Rimes and her supposed scandal with costar Eddie Cibrian.  The “happily” married country sweetheart allegedly has been getting some booty behind her husband’s back.  Naughty, naughty.  To confirm the allegations, a video surveillance camera caught the scandalous pair exchanging much more than just words at a Los Angeles eatery.

So, what is Leanne’s poor husband, Dean Sheremet, doing while his unfaithful woman is sucking face with her costar hottie?  Getting blasted on a morning news station in Michigan for apparently being gay.  I bet you didn’t see that one coming, and neither did I, but you heard right!  While Dean Sheremet’s wife is busy getting some booty, he is busy getting his sexuality questioned by his friends and family.  Ouch!

Ok, so cheating sucks, especially when you are married, but, which is worse, a cheating wife or a gay husband?  My conclusion is this:  Leanne Rimes cheated on her husband because he is gay.  Obviously he is not giving her what she needs to be sexually satisfied.  How can you blame her for pursuing a man that actually enjoys a woman’s company? Bottom line: everyone needs some loving.

Moral of the story:  Marriage can wait! You would think that if you dated long enough, you would figure out if your husband was gay.    Duh!

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Marriage?

24 10 2008


Shrek, the unsightly green troll, is the reason why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting married. The celebrity couple most fawned over by the press is finally uttering the magical word “marriage.” Although they already have six children, marriage has not been a priority for them.

In a recent interview with Italian Vanity Fair, Jolie was quoted as saying:

“Usually people fall in love and everything revolves around the ritual of marriage, children are an afterthought. We did everything backwards.”

While Jolie and Pitt decided that marriage can wait, they bucked all trends (and logic perhaps) and went straight for child rearing before tying the knot. They are raising six children before making the ceremonial commitment. Why the sudden change of heart? Turns out, the answer is Shrek, but mostly the kids.

“.. sooner or later, it will be the kids who ask us [to get married]. You know, they see films and start asking questions. Such as, ‘Why are Shrek and Fiona married and you’re not?’”

There you have it. Shrek and her kids are the reason why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt might be getting married soon.

Facebook Claims Another Life

20 10 2008

Yet another Facebook tragedy arises.  Out of jealousy, a man killed his former wife after discovering she had changed her Facebook status to ‘single.’   The couple had separated just four days prior to the incident.

The intense bout of rage was sparked after the wife posted a negative story about her husband on her Facebook profile, then went on to change her relationship status to ‘single.’  Sadly, the deranged husband could not handle the rejection. He immediately drove over to her house and attacked her with a meat cleaver.

“Wayne Forrester, 34, drank alcohol and took cocaine before driving 15 miles to the family home to attack wife Emma as she lay in bed.

What kind of marriage does one get into where your life partner is a potential murdered?  It makes me wonder if it’s possible to ever know these things.  How well do you know somebody before you marry them?  Is it ever possible to know that your spouse is capable of killing you?

There must have been warning signs along the way.  One can never be too careful about taking the next step into marriage.  It is such an incredible commitment that breaking it can often lead to tragic ends.   Please take your time,  go through the full vetting process,  and enjoy being single while you can!

Full story is here:

Husband hacked wife to death with meat cleaver after she changed Facebook status to single

Sexist Language: Uxorious

16 10 2008

Is the English language sexist? One example that’s always cracked me up is the word uxorious, defined as: having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one’s wife.

The concept makes sense, the idea that a man can be overly devoted to his wife, potentially as a detriment to himself. Anybody who lacks balance and dedicates himself too much to a single idea or object will eventually run into problems. However, search your dictionary for a comparable word that indicates the same level of extreme dedication a woman might have for a man, and you won’t find it.

The English language reflects a double standard here, because a man CAN be too devoted to his wife, but it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be overly submissive to her husband. Isn’t that a little unfair? We can all agree that no person, regardless of gender, should surrender themselves completely to another person, to the point of harm.

A healthy relationship finds balance, reciprocated sacrifice, and a willingness to commit to one another. From this parity a healthy relationship can grow into a happy marriage.

So with the word uxorious, is the English language being sexist, or insensitive? There is no such word that applies to a woman being excessively fond or submissive of her husband.

I hope someone can prove me wrong and find the precise word we are trying to define here (a woman who is too submissively fond of her husband).

Perhaps I’ll have to invent the word myself..

When to Marry

7 10 2008

If you knew you were going to live to be 200 years old, at what age would you settle down to get married?

Image via J.C. Rojas @ Flickr

Image via J.C. Rojas @ Flickr

I’ve recently considered how life expectancy completely changed our outlook on marriage. In the olden days, people were lucky to live past 40. This meant that by the puberty stage, people were already looking for life partners to marry because at the end of your teens, it was likely that your life was half-way over.

We flash forward to the present and we see that as health care, technology, and food supplies improved, people were no longer getting married at the age of 12. The biggest change has taken place with women, who today are dedicating more time to themselves and their careers before committing to a lifestyle of marriage.

I don’t blame them, in fact I congratulate them for this newfound independence. Personally, I prefer to meet a woman who has experienced the sacrifice of providing for oneself and who has the tenacity to build a career. A self-realized woman who is confident is one of the sexiest partners out there.

I’m glad that we are given an opportunity with every new generation, to be healthier and live longer, but as our life expectancy expands, when does marriage make sense? I’m not sure that getting married for the first time at age 80 is the best thing, mostly because your reproductive functions are obsolete by then. If you are not worried about having kids, then I don’t think you can be too old to get married.

However, is there anything wrong to wait till you are in your 30s? Your 40s? The longer we live, the later we tend to get married, but where will the balance be created? There is no exact age when marriage is optimal. Marriage should depend on the emotional maturity of both parties involved, regardless of how old they are. If people waited to get married until they understood their goals, ideals, priorities, and insecurities, then marriage would be a more pleasant experience.

What do you guys think? How long should marriage wait?