Duchovny in Rehab Clinic for Sex Addiction

29 08 2008
Therapy     via Frank Wouters

Therapy via Frank Wouters

What kind of treatment do you get at a rehabilitation clinic for sexual addiction? With so many possible forms of addiction (magazines, webcams, physical intercourse, prostitution,etc), I wonder if medication is an option. As mysterious as the treatment might be, this past week X-Files star David Duchovny voluntarily checked himself in to a rehab center for ‘sexual addiction.’

Now I can’t get Amy Winehouse’s jingle out of my head! “they tried to make me go to rehab.. i said no no no.”

Did his role as the sex-obsessed character in the show Californication fuel this sexual addiction? His immersion into the character’s psyche might have pushed him over the edge. How bad does the addiction have to be for you to ‘volunteer’ to go to rehab? Or more likely, how pissed off does your wife have to be to force you to enroll in a rehab program? For starters, I would say chafing is a good sign that there is a growing problem at hand…

After wondering about the ins and outs of sexual recovery centers, we stumbled unto this amazing 12 Step Program to cure you of your sex fiend ways!

Step Number ONE on the list, obviously, is:

1. We admitted we were powerless over sexaholism – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Of course you are powerless! Take no responsibility whatsoever, give yourself completely to your sexaholism.

Next, pay attention here, Step Number TWO:

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Ah yes, we are helpless, we bare no responsibility for using our spouse’s credit card to pay for strippers. It reminds me of the amazing parody done by South Park on Alcoholic’s Anonymous’ recovery strategy.

Randy is Powerless

Randy is Powerless

We are powerless, we have to give into sexahoism and allow a greater power to cure us!


Marriage: A Dicey Contract

29 08 2008

Dicey Contracts... Flickr:Topher76

By Moses Brown:

Some people think the easiest way out of their marriage is to kill their spouse. Frankly, I don’t blame them – after all, nuptial vows mention death as the only escape from marriage (till death do us part).

What’s the difference between doing life in prison for killing your spouse and spending life in hell stuck with your spouse? The only viable alternative is to spend years fighting a messy divorce battle in court, but who wants that option?

The biggest reason marriage can wait is so you can cautiously scrutinize the binding contract that ensnares you FOREVER. Contracts usually indicate that you owe someone either money or a service. By entering into a marriage contract you’re agreeing to owe your spouse for the rest of your life! Seriously?

I once signed a contract that obligated me to pay a retainer of six months. Within two months, I realized the contractor was ripping me off but I was stuck paying the bill since court would cost more than the retainer itself. Imagine if your spouse didn’t think you were fulfilling your end of the contract? Maybe that’s why “contract killers” exist haha.

On a serious note, in 2005 over 1,500 homicides in the US were labeled “Intimate Partner Homicides” by the redundant U.S. Justice Department’s Bureau of Justice. The majority of ‘intimate partner homicide’ victims are killed by the person closest to them: their spouses. Who knew that marriage was not only the leading cause of divorce, but also the leading cause of Intimate Partner Homicide?

I hope I didn’t scare you too much, especially if you’re already married. For you married peeps out there just try to make the best of it. Take a good look at your spouse and understand that you could bring out the killer in him/her. I would also come up with a contingency plan just in case your marriage doesn’t last. Think of the first thing you’d do and try to imagine starting your life over again, alone. It’s like hunting for another job after getting fired. After all, if you end up killing your spouse you’ll end up being alone anyway !!

– Moses Brown, CEO and Founder of OnlineBootyCall.com

Sex Dreams, Why So Hush Hush?

28 08 2008
sweet, sweet, dreamy sex

sweet, sweet, dreamy sex

I relish a great sex dream, despite their unfortunate label of “wet dreams” by stupid 7th grade health teachers. I find few things more exciting than those unannounced, yet enrapturing sex dreams. They happen far too rarely. Maybe I have better sex dreams than most people (many people only have symbolic sex dreams) or maybe not… but I do know that I am a vivid dreamer that can hold on to the memory and feelings of a dream for several days.

Interestingly, when sex dreams do occur for me, it’s never with someone I know, or at least, not an exact representation. Often, it’s only later that I realize who the person in the dream represents in my real life.

Yet, experiencing that moment in the dream, that person is someone new, different, stunning, and amazing… to be straight, it’s a like a finding a new fling, a new intense attraction, and this I love. Hell, many times I’ve actually been bummed to realize the person I had “connected” with in my dreams isn’t real and will never be a real part of my life. It’s wild, I know.

So, what does this say about our subconscious? For me, it’s not only a reminder of our extraordinary yearning for sexual intimacy, but also our profound desire to have more than one mate. There is a deep longing manifested in our dreams, where our conscience and inhibitions are not available to prevent our unvoiced impulses.

In this regard we can look at the conscious discipline required for a successful marriage. One must be willing to overcome these powerful wishes, a noble feat, should it be achieved. Plus, it’s not meant to be an exercise of a few months or years, but by the very essence of marriage, it’s meant to be a lifetime. For some of the “blessed” who believe in eternal souls, marriage signifies a devotion for all of time. Yes, a commitment to infinity.

I don’t presume to tell everyone what to do with their love life, or how they should structure their relationships. I wish only to caution, that the commitment to marriage and monogamy is truly a tough row to hoe.

So, we must take the hard-look in the mirror and see if we are being realistic about the choice to promise ourselves, to another, forever. It can be hard to do the right thing, but if you’re not up for the challenge, if there is any doubt, stop. Don’t rush, get right with yourself and understand what is required before you fail to live up to your word.

Sex dreams… why so hush hush? Simple. We are afraid to talk about our desires for sex, our desires for others, and admit the life we are living might just be a lie…

Finally, remember (and pay respect to) the people who do sacrifice lust, carnal desires, every day for their entire life so they can have real marriages. These people are indeed amazing; they are people worthy of our most sincere congratulations. Yet, this discipline is a choice, not a requirement to be lorded over everyone’s head.

Marriage is a discipline, and just like fasting, it should be exercised only by those who willingly choose the path and understand the sacrifices required to walk it.

If you’re looking to meet other fun singles who enjoy being single, we recommend… OnlineBootyCall.com

Trading Laundry Duty for Sex?

28 08 2008
I'll trade you laundry duty for...

I'll trade you laundry duty for...

If you’ve ever visited a college laundry room, descended into those cavernous, poorly lit and inadequately ventilated lairs (why are they always in the basement?), then you’ve seen the haggard desperation in people’s eyes as they bungle through their detested chores. Separating lights from darks, color-safe bleach, quarters, softener, solitary socks forgotten in hasty retreats. It’s no surprise that many students would be willing to trade a little sex for help with the tediousness of laundry.

According to CNN, a recent study of 475 undergraduates at the University of Michigan found that “27 percent of the men and 14 percent of the women who weren’t in a committed relationship had offered someone favors or gifts — help prepping for a test, laundry washing, tickets to a college football game — in exchange for sex.”

College can be pretty stressful, and the prospect of getting a favor AND getting some action sounds like quite the bargain, except for that whole, selling your body part. But don’t mistake those bright college years with pleasure rife as the only place where people are making these sexy trades. People use these tactics at work, at home with their significant others, and quite often, at home with non-significant others, as CNN can attest:

“Ben Corbett, a 39-year-old contractor from Boulder, Colorado, credits his tool belt with prompting the barrage of come-ons he fields from female clients — most of them married — on a regular basis.” CNN: Bartering Sex for Stuff or Services

What loathsome task, desirable gift, or opportunity would you be willing to trade in exchange for sex? I don’t know if I have an answer, but that tool belt sounds like a good idea right about now.

Reasons to Stay Single

26 08 2008

Coming from down under, these Australian girls surprise us with their shout out to those females in ‘singledom.’ To their advice, we respond:

Aussie Aussie Aussie!

Oi Oi Oi!

10 Reasons to Stay Single

For some reason, this SavvyMiss got it all wrong. We agree with her basic premise, that being single is not a sickness. However instead of telling you why you should be single, she tells you HOW to get single. It’s reminiscent of How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days, except a much more confusing and effective approach.

Here at Marriage Can Wait, we encourage you to celebrate your single status, but please, don’t torture your current partner just to get out of the relationship.

Read with care: How to stay single?

Bill Murray Bails Out of Plane and Marriage

25 08 2008

The LA Times Blog coverd the story of Bill Murray’s sky diving adventure and recent divorce. How does your love life go so wrong that news stories allude to the crushing death that results after falling from a plane as a comparison to your marriage?

Many would gladly risk death by jumping out of an airplane, force an adrenaline rush so intense it would help them escape the reality awaiting them on the ground below.  For Bill Murray, his divorce to Jennifer Butler Murray cost him a pretty penny, including a cool $7 million just on the prenup alone.  Yikes. I think Bill will need an ongoing set of adrenaline highs to fully recover.  Maybe next week we’ll hear about his bear wrestling feats….

Girls Gone Wild; the American Dream?

25 08 2008
Francis being a lucky bastard

Francis being a lucky bastard

First, I should admit that I feel odd that I’m here at my desk, writing (which assumes also thinking) about the Founder of “Girls Gone Wild.” I don’t mean odd as in “man how did I end up in this sweaty gorilla suit at the county fair working for 7 bucks an hour?” On the contrary, I feel wildly lucky to have the time and freedom to inspect one of the extremes of the American Dream… Joe Francis.

Hunter S. Thompson once went searching for the “American Dream” or what he felt remained of it, and the result was the wild, violent, lusty, and excessive ride Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. What Hunter may not have realized at the time, was that he was becoming an icon for the American Dream. He became one of the last of the Mohicans.

Hunter’s wild and deeply devoted life is one of legend, and it set a strong example for us all. Regardless of your personal tastes, values, or how you feel about characters like Thompson, people in America have the right to be different and to exist outside conventional norms of society. That right, includes freedom of expression, press, religion, philosophy. This in turn, allows for the American Dream to exist.

These rights go beyond acting within the confines of the law. The American Justice system is supposed to act with reason and fairness when we as citizens decide to color outside the lines. In the case of Joe Francis, his lifestyle might have led to unfair treatment by Florida’s judicial system.

He has taken up the “fight for the first amendment” to ensure his right to live the American Dream, which in his case, consists of untold riches, beautiful girls engaging in frivolous sex, peddling smut, and the jet-set lifestyle. Does Joe Francis have the right to be a scumbag, or does his lifestyle and character justify harsher treatment by the legal system?

Below I’ve included a link to his website and a youtube clip of his crappy and poorly-read speech about how his rights were violated. So tell us what you think… YES, YOU, COMMENT ON THIS, TELL US SOMETHING!


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