The Different Types of Casual Sex

20 05 2009

Sex is AMAZING…or at least it should be!  It releases endorphins,  reduces stress, torches major calories, promotes better sleeping habits, and feels f**king fantastic!  Sex should be something you can enjoy on a regular basis.  I’m talking daily… none of this every couple of months stuff!  Just because you aren’t in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that your sex life has to suffer.  Get what you want and deserve..whenever you want it…no matter what your relationship situation may be.

Casual sex (with partners whom you are not in a committed relationship with) is extremely popular and prevalent today in the world of singles.  There are numerous situations in which casual sex can occur.  Some of the most common are booty call sex and ex-sex, but trust me there are tons more.  Here is a short list of some of the different types of casual sex situations.  Let me know if you have any to add to the list 🙂

1.) Mercy Sex

Definition: Sex with someone whom you feel particularly bad for.  Maybe this person has been in love with you since the third grade and you are sick of the constant nagging or maybe this person just went through a traumatizing life experience… Whatever the reason may be, you feel sorry for them and therefore (after probably a few too many vodka sodas) decided to do the damn thing and write it off as an act of charity or your good deed of the day.

2.) Palate Cleansing Sex

Definition: Palate cleansing sex or rebound sex is used to rid yourself and your body of a previous sexual partner.  Maybe your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend and you are looking to do someone else in attempt to get back or get over it.  Or maybe you had the most horrific sex of your entire life and you just need to get that bad taste out of your mouth.  My only advice for this type of sex is to make sure that it is pretty great, or else you will feel even worse than you did before.

3.)  Hate Sex

Definition: This is the passionate, crazy, aggressive, angry sex that often occurs when a couple is breaking up or when an argument has surfaced.  A perfect example of this type of sex is from the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have the hottest most passionate sex ever.  This is probably not the healthiest form of casual sex (because there are usually a lot of emotions involved), but hey…sometimes it makes you feel better to get all of that aggression out by having a hard core romp.

4.)  Drive-thru Sex

Definition: This is the McDonald’s of casual sex.  Basically, this is the get it and go type of sex that is fast and to the point.  No cuddling or pillow talk required.  You are there for one reason and one reason only.  This quickie can be super exciting and spontaneous because the sex can occur in random places or locations..such as office stairwells, restaurant bathrooms, and parking structures.  So use your imagination and have some fun with this one ;).

5.)  Booty Call Sex

Definition: This is my personal favorite :).  It can really be defined in any way you want and is based on personal expectations.  A booty call can be someone who you are extremely attracted to and enjoy having sex with.  The encounter can be just sex, or can include dinner, conversation, and friendship.  Again, the expectations are up to you, so get your line up going and get some booty!


The Mustache is Back!

20 01 2009

Well men, it’s time to shave off that ridiculous goatee and prep that upper lip for a new look. Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds are no longer the only ones that can pull off magnificently groomed “Cookie Dusters.” Brad Pitt, Sean Pean, Robert Downey Jr. and James Franco are among many other Hollywood A-listers who have adopted brand new “Lady Ticklers.”

According to the “Fashion and Style” section of the NY Times, the Mustache has made a glorious comeback. So, why should you rock the ‘stache? Simple, because you don’t already have one.

Inching Its Way Back Onto The Lip

Don’t Call Me Cute

16 10 2008

Complimenting women is not rocket science and it doesn’t necessarily have to be poetry either. It’s not about inventing the wittiest remark ever uttered. Many guys rely on tired phrases like “you look cute” or “you’re so sweet.”

As we’ve discussed before, our boy Cyrano would never resort to a generic compliment like “cute” or “sweet.” At best, an uncreative compliment like that comes across as an empty gesture. You might as well insult the poor woman.

Earlier today I ran into a post from Suddenly Singles written by Single Gal. She has an honest appraisal of trite remarks like ‘cute’ or ‘sweet,’ plus she includes one of the most candid dating profile descriptions, or ‘about me’ narratives, that I have read.

Below is the excerpt that caught my eye:

“I am not “sweet” or “cute”. I know you may mean these things as compliments, but if and when you say them to me, I will think you are referring to someone else. I have lots of fine qualities – I am generous, I am kind, I am attentive, and I am thoughtful. But “sweet” does not fit. I am direct almost to a fault, and nary a work of sugar drips from my lips. I’m a happy person but I’m not a smiler. And, I simply am not “cute”. I can’t pull off pony tales or berets. I hardly wear accessories, and my looks are average, at best. I curse like a trucker. I am not putting myself down: this is simply the facts. If you call me “cute”, I will think of ponies and puppies. I will think of girls who wear lots of pink, and who are bubbly and outgoing. Be appropriate in your selection of adjectives, and for god’s sake, don’t say things you don’t mean because you think they will impress me. They won’t.”

It’s pretty clear: Don’t bull$hit Single Gal with meaningless compliments. Be upfront and deliver genuineness. If you think she’s attractive, let her know. Don’t falter about with useless adjectives. Describing someone as ‘sweet’ is almost as bad as calling somebody ‘nice.’ It’s a bland, safe adjective that makes you look like a fool.

I commend Single Gal’s straight forward approach to online dating. It eliminates a lot of guesswork and it saves you the painful process of trying to ‘figure out’ how to approach her (usually done through a series of recurring mistakes).

I wish I could find more women willing to express these ideas. It would make online dating that much more pleasant!

Read Single Gal’s full article here: Who Am I?

Sexist Language: Uxorious

16 10 2008

Is the English language sexist? One example that’s always cracked me up is the word uxorious, defined as: having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one’s wife.

The concept makes sense, the idea that a man can be overly devoted to his wife, potentially as a detriment to himself. Anybody who lacks balance and dedicates himself too much to a single idea or object will eventually run into problems. However, search your dictionary for a comparable word that indicates the same level of extreme dedication a woman might have for a man, and you won’t find it.

The English language reflects a double standard here, because a man CAN be too devoted to his wife, but it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be overly submissive to her husband. Isn’t that a little unfair? We can all agree that no person, regardless of gender, should surrender themselves completely to another person, to the point of harm.

A healthy relationship finds balance, reciprocated sacrifice, and a willingness to commit to one another. From this parity a healthy relationship can grow into a happy marriage.

So with the word uxorious, is the English language being sexist, or insensitive? There is no such word that applies to a woman being excessively fond or submissive of her husband.

I hope someone can prove me wrong and find the precise word we are trying to define here (a woman who is too submissively fond of her husband).

Perhaps I’ll have to invent the word myself..

Online Dating Wingman

15 10 2008

For guys dabbling with online dating, writing good messages is the biggest stumbling block to meeting women. Any time you see a cute profile picture of a female, the dreaded next step is to compose a message to spark a conversation. Just like walking up to a girl at a bar, it can be unnerving to compose a message to send to an attractive girl.

Guys need help from Cyrano de Bergerac, the trusty wordsmith and noble wingman of playwright history. Although he is disfigured by a large nose, Cyrano is a hopeless romantic who helps his friend Christian conquer the lovely Roxanne, the love of Cyrano’s life. How does he do this?

Imagine the famous Romeo and Juliet balcony scene (Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?), but when Romeo appears before Juliet, he has a wingman hiding in the shadows below, whispering the most poetic lyrics he can come up with so Romeo can charm Juliet. That’s what Cyrano did for his friend Christian. He made him eloquent, confident, seductive. Now that’s a wingman for you, completely selfless.

Cyrano De Bergerac - Wingman of Lore

Cyrano De Bergerac - Wingman of Lore

There needs to be an online dating wingman service out there for guys. If there was a team of selfless Cyranos willing to help other men meet the women of their dreams, then online dating would be dramatically more effective. I’m surprised I haven’t seen this service offered somewhere. There is a huge demand for it when it comes to traditional dating sites.

Perhaps Marriage Can Wait will need to start a support group to help men collaborate on these type of issues. An announcement will have to be made. VIRTUAL WINGMEN NEEDED!

Come back to check with us and see how this idea develops! We might be onto something here ;0)

Dating Again for Those with Kids

13 10 2008

Dating again after a long-term relationship has ended can seem crazy scary for some. It’s even more difficult for those of us with children. When you have kids, you not only worry if your date will fit your needs, but in the back of your mind you also wish they make a good fit for your kids. All of this is further complicated if the other parent of your children (your ex) is still involved in their life, and by default, in yours.

The Detriot Free Press offers some great advice on starting your love life again. It’s a good read if you have kids or if you’re going to start dating someone who does.

“WOW Baby that was Wild, Now Get OUT!”

10 10 2008

So it appears that married couples want to get busy and yet still have their space! That’s right the “quickie” is moving to a whole new level. Married couples are  sleeping apart more and more these days, but still having sex together.

Looks like’s First Commandment for booty calls, “Thou shalt get out before the sun rises,” works for married peeps too!

The Huffington Post has posted a short article reviewing this growing trend and has some great stats too. We’re stunned to see that people are actually having homes built with two separate master bedrooms! And we have to wonder, does it make the sex any better?