Dating Again for Those with Kids

13 10 2008

Dating again after a long-term relationship has ended can seem crazy scary for some. It’s even more difficult for those of us with children. When you have kids, you not only worry if your date will fit your needs, but in the back of your mind you also wish they make a good fit for your kids. All of this is further complicated if the other parent of your children (your ex) is still involved in their life, and by default, in yours.

The Detriot Free Press offers some great advice on starting your love life again. It’s a good read if you have kids or if you’re going to start dating someone who does.

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Sex and Stress: Wall St. Goes Limp!

29 09 2008

Stress. Yes, you know the word. You know it all too well. Stress fills our busy, complicated, and often competitive lives. As a nation we dedicate millions of dollars each year to preventing, managing, and escaping from stress. Stress has a horrible side effect: with prolonged exposure, it completely disrupts your sex life. That’s right, lots of stress = less sex, both in quantity and quality.

“A constant state of anxiety has been shown by studies to correlate with reduced sexual desire in both men and women. Physiologically it makes sense that stress hinders sex drive, because in both sexes stress reduces testosterone levels. Moreover the stress hormone adrenaline, which is secreted in our bodies when we are stressed, shuts blood flow away from the genitalia.”- Health24.com

With this in mind, I can’t help but think of how the US economic crisis is cramping the hell out of Wall Street’s sex life. Imagine losing millions of dollars of your client’s money and then losing your own inflated  salary (hello poor house, adios easy girls who love expensive dinners, huge houses, and fast cars). Under those pressures, your ability to be in the moment and to feel confident about your place in the world melts away. First you crumble mentally, then you slowly deteriorate physically… Good-Bye Sex Life!

Thank god for trickle down economics. It’s not just the fat-cats on Wall St. who are going limp, but guess what?  So are you! Your 401k slowly depleting, your job is on the line. Because we hate the idea of anything hurting your sex life, especially something as avoidable as stress, we wanted to point you in the direction of good advice.

Here it is: About’s Guide to Sex and Stress: The Benefits of Sex, and How to Keep Thing Hot. It’s a must read and a must remember for today’s stressful economy, because without the hope of great sex… what is this all really about anyway?

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365 Nights of Sex

18 09 2008

“When their marriages fell into the doldrums, two long-married couples decided to find out if having sex every day could boost their relationships.”

WebMD did a good feature and review of the book and its follow on. We recommend the read for anyone looking to improve their sex game, marriage, or just want to investigate. At MarriageCanWait, we feel that the only thing worse than marriage might just be a sexless marriage!

Bottom line, sex is so great it can even make marriage worth all the other crap.

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8 Bad Reasons to Have Sex

5 09 2008
MargoLove

image via Flickr: MargoLove

Sex, in and of itself, can be a great experience when done responsibly, not only with protection and proper technique, but also for the right reasons. CNN gives us 8 Bad Reasons To Have Sex.

Most of the reasons listed are practical, but we have trouble agreeing to Reason # 1, having sex for “ego gratification.” CNN suggests that taking home that hottie purely for enjoyment and to give yourself a confidence boost, is wrong.

The article states:

“You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification. The fact that he’s willing and able doesn’t say squat about your appeal.”

I can agree that men (and women) can be sleazy, that after a few drinks, are willing to lower their standards and have sex with just about any woman, but this article ignores the fact that many women come home empty handed after being out at a bar. Sexual intimacy can provide you a much needed ego pampering session.  Setting up a casual sexual liaison is not as negative as some of the other reasons listed in the article.  Ultimately, the choice is left to each individual, measuring self-worth, and whether physical intimacy is a replacement for emotional intimacy.





Flirt to Get The One You Want

4 09 2008
Seduction 101

Seduction 101

Everyone loves good dating advice.

Oprah.com featured a “How To” approach to flirting, that devious art of seduction we play every day.   The advice can be boiled down to these three succinct steps:

“Target your person of interest, focus entirely on them, then abruptly divert your attention”

People love the ego boost from that initial courting process, the subtle seduction where you fawn over them with attention, but they like it even more if you cut them off playfully, coyly tease and leave them wanting more.

It’s a classic bait: build interest with engagement, then abruptly break off attention to heighten the sense of a missing opportunity.  You can’t be available to someone all the time.   That little separation lets you create a tension, it makes you alluring and creates the perfect chase scenario.  People love the chase.  Stay elusive, and you’ll stay desirable.  People never appreciate what they have until it is no longer theirs.  Spark that appreciation with a small diversion and you’re flirting will help you get the one you want.





Never Say This On A First Date

19 08 2008

First dates are always the hardest. The pressure to be perfect can be unnerving, not to mention outright embarrassing at times. Even if the evening is going great, sometimes your date utters the most baffling set of words, resulting in a complete deal breaker.

CNN’s advice, Don’t Say THIS to a New Date, humorously covers the topic with a list of items that should never be discussed on a first date. Check it out, and share any topics you think should have made the list in the comments section below.

For example, we thought marriage should have made the list 😉





I Don’t Love You Anymore… Goodbye

19 08 2008

The title for this post is a quote from the movie “Closer” starring Natalie Portman. It’s the break-up line she uses to crush the hopes of Jude Law at the end of the film. Frankly, I love this quote.

It is an honest way (brutal i know) to end a relationship. Rather than placating the other person with excuses and poor explanations, this allows the pain, destruction, and hurt their proper place: up front and center stage with no distractions.

It is unambiguous and final. “I’m leaving, it’s over.” I can think of few things more difficult than having to end a long-term relationship with someone you have cared deeply about, aside from extreme situations like admitting to infidelity or facing death in the family.

The break-up is something central to all of our lives. NPR’s radio program “This American Life” did a wonderful piece on this subject entitled Break Up. Covering the whole spectrum of letting-go and moving on, the show discusses everything from the story of a young teen getting “dumped” and living with a broken heart to the intricacies of divorce.

If you have the time, take a good listen and explore one of the harder sides of love.

– Bill Thompson

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