Madonna’s Split A Good Warning

17 10 2008

I’ve heard this advice several times, “you want for your life to be an example to others, not a warning.” Madonna and Ritchie’s recent split a.k.a legal filing for divorce, stands as a strong warning on how things can go very bad in marriage.

The link will take you to The Telegraph’s article on Madonna’s oppressive and rigid rules and just down unattractive actions. I mean really!?! Sleeping on a vat full of creams each night? I can hear it now “so sorry baby I’m not in the mood, since I’m already wrapped in a sack full of creamy crap.”

Then good ‘ol guy rolls over bummed out, thinking: “we’ll I’ll just turn on the tube for a minute.” Guess what? WRONG! Not in Madonna’s house! No TV for you sir. How freaking miserable.

So let yet another disastrous celebrity marriage stand as good warning! Please, take your time and proceed with caution as you approach marriage!

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Sexist Language: Uxorious

16 10 2008

Is the English language sexist? One example that’s always cracked me up is the word uxorious, defined as: having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one’s wife.

The concept makes sense, the idea that a man can be overly devoted to his wife, potentially as a detriment to himself. Anybody who lacks balance and dedicates himself too much to a single idea or object will eventually run into problems. However, search your dictionary for a comparable word that indicates the same level of extreme dedication a woman might have for a man, and you won’t find it.

The English language reflects a double standard here, because a man CAN be too devoted to his wife, but it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be overly submissive to her husband. Isn’t that a little unfair? We can all agree that no person, regardless of gender, should surrender themselves completely to another person, to the point of harm.

A healthy relationship finds balance, reciprocated sacrifice, and a willingness to commit to one another. From this parity a healthy relationship can grow into a happy marriage.

So with the word uxorious, is the English language being sexist, or insensitive? There is no such word that applies to a woman being excessively fond or submissive of her husband.

I hope someone can prove me wrong and find the precise word we are trying to define here (a woman who is too submissively fond of her husband).

Perhaps I’ll have to invent the word myself..

“WOW Baby that was Wild, Now Get OUT!”

10 10 2008

So it appears that married couples want to get busy and yet still have their space! That’s right the “quickie” is moving to a whole new level. Married couples are  sleeping apart more and more these days, but still having sex together.

Looks like’s First Commandment for booty calls, “Thou shalt get out before the sun rises,” works for married peeps too!

The Huffington Post has posted a short article reviewing this growing trend and has some great stats too. We’re stunned to see that people are actually having homes built with two separate master bedrooms! And we have to wonder, does it make the sex any better?

The Joy of Sex!

19 09 2008

It’s Back Again, and better.  The Sydney Morning Herald brings us the news:

“First published in 1972, The Joy Of Sex went on to sell 8 million copies in 22 languages, becoming famous as much for its frank illustrations as the knowing prose of the author, Alex Comfort.”

The new edition comes with several updates and changes:

“Sections such as those on prostitution and chastity belts have disappeared, replaced with information on “the little blue pill” and cybersex, including internet dating and foreplay via SMS, email, webcams and teledildonics (electric sex toys that are controlled remotely).”

Did they just say teledildonics???  Wired provides a quick introduction to the subject, which is not as sci-fi and nerdy as it sounds.  In addition to advanced robotics like teledildonics, The Joy of Sex also delves into more practical advice, such as how to text message appropriately:

“Quilliam’s advice on conducting sex via email is eminently sensible: don’t get hung up on grammar and spelling, “yet equally, don’t aim to talk dirty – in black and white it can seem harsh or simply silly”.

Read the full story here: Girls on top in noughties but nice sex guide

We remind you : Members Know the Joy of Sex!

365 Nights of Sex

18 09 2008

“When their marriages fell into the doldrums, two long-married couples decided to find out if having sex every day could boost their relationships.”

WebMD did a good feature and review of the book and its follow on. We recommend the read for anyone looking to improve their sex game, marriage, or just want to investigate. At MarriageCanWait, we feel that the only thing worse than marriage might just be a sexless marriage!

Bottom line, sex is so great it can even make marriage worth all the other crap.

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I Don’t: A Contrarian History of Marriage

16 09 2008

“I Don’t”

A simple enough phrase, but in Susan Squire’s book this pair of words represents an emboldened, wise rejection of the institution that marriage has become. When everybody else is lining up, idealizing marriage and romance, Squire goes against the grain to expose the absurdities of how the tradition of marriage has evolved over time.

Full of humorous quips and anecdotes, we’re reminded of why marriage can wait, if it even needs to happen. In addition to her book, Squire’s site is equipped with this peculiar quiz, which at one point asks:

4. Match the quote… …to the source:

a) “He who mounts is the one who gives birth.”
b) “Your husband shall rule over you.”
c) “The bed that contains a wife is always hot with quarrels.”
d) “The gaze of a menstruating woman can dim and crack a mirror.”
e) “Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.”
f) “Hope not for mind in women.”
g) “A wife should have no feelings of her own, but share her husband’s.”

Thomas Aquinas, Benjamin Franklin, John Donne, Plutarch, Aeschylus, Juvenal, God

We commend Squire for her intrepid, and contrarian review of marriage. Her research sheds light on the various idiosyncrasies we take for granted in marriage, with a sardonic narrative that never ceases to amuse. We’re glad to find another ally in the educational discussion of marriage.

Women: ‘Money Over Marriage’

2 09 2008

The Press Association: ‘Debt more worrying than marriage’. That’s right guys; girls are more concerned about time and money than a ‘happy marriage.’

“Women are more worried about debt and a lack of free time than their marriages and careers, according to a new study.”

Well, that’s fair… Hell, I’m much more interested in beer and football. So, if the more money you have, the less you have to work, then the more time you’ll have. In this case, the real way to please a woman isn’t endless devotion, but money! Yes, sir, cold hard cash.

money, time, then maybe love

money, time, then love

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