Dating Again for Those with Kids

Dating again after a long-term relationship has ended can seem crazy scary for some. It’s even more difficult for those of us with children. When you have kids, you not only worry if your date will fit your needs, but in the back of your mind you also wish they make a good fit for your kids. All of this is further complicated if the other parent of your children (your ex) is still involved in their life, and by default, in yours.

The Detriot Free Press offers some great advice on starting your love life again. It’s a good read if you have kids or if you’re going to start dating someone who does.

Sex and Stress: Wall St. Goes Limp!

Stress. Yes, you know the word. You know it all too well. Stress fills our busy, complicated, and often competitive lives. As a nation we dedicate millions of dollars each year to preventing, managing, and escaping from stress. Stress has a horrible side effect: with prolonged exposure, it completely disrupts your sex life. That’s right, lots of stress = less sex, both in quantity and quality.

“A constant state of anxiety has been shown by studies to correlate with reduced sexual desire in both men and women. Physiologically it makes sense that stress hinders sex drive, because in both sexes stress reduces testosterone levels. Moreover the stress hormone adrenaline, which is secreted in our bodies when we are stressed, shuts blood flow away from the genitalia.”- Health24.com

With this in mind, I can’t help but think of how the US economic crisis is cramping the hell out of Wall Street’s sex life. Imagine losing millions of dollars of your client’s money and then losing your own inflated  salary (hello poor house, adios easy girls who love expensive dinners, huge houses, and fast cars). Under those pressures, your ability to be in the moment and to feel confident about your place in the world melts away. First you crumble mentally, then you slowly deteriorate physically… Good-Bye Sex Life!

Thank god for trickle down economics. It’s not just the fat-cats on Wall St. who are going limp, but guess what?  So are you! Your 401k slowly depleting, your job is on the line. Because we hate the idea of anything hurting your sex life, especially something as avoidable as stress, we wanted to point you in the direction of good advice.

Here it is: About’s Guide to Sex and Stress: The Benefits of Sex, and How to Keep Thing Hot. It’s a must read and a must remember for today’s stressful economy, because without the hope of great sex… what is this all really about anyway?

Unwind and Undress Tonight at www.OnlineBootyCall.com

365 Nights of Sex

“When their marriages fell into the doldrums, two long-married couples decided to find out if having sex every day could boost their relationships.”

WebMD did a good feature and review of the book and its follow on. We recommend the read for anyone looking to improve their sex game, marriage, or just want to investigate. At MarriageCanWait, we feel that the only thing worse than marriage might just be a sexless marriage!

Bottom line, sex is so great it can even make marriage worth all the other crap.

Sex is for singles! Check out OnlineBootyCall.com

8 Bad Reasons to Have Sex

image via Flickr: MargoLove

Sex, in and of itself, can be a great experience when done responsibly, not only with protection and proper technique, but also for the right reasons. CNN gives us 8 Bad Reasons To Have Sex.

Most of the reasons listed are practical, but we have trouble agreeing to Reason # 1, having sex for “ego gratification.” CNN suggests that taking home that hottie purely for enjoyment and to give yourself a confidence boost, is wrong.

The article states:

“You must be fine if that scorching hot bartender took you home. Or not. Men have been known to do some unsavory things for physical gratification. The fact that he’s willing and able doesn’t say squat about your appeal.”

I can agree that men (and women) can be sleazy, that after a few drinks, are willing to lower their standards and have sex with just about any woman, but this article ignores the fact that many women come home empty handed after being out at a bar. Sexual intimacy can provide you a much needed ego pampering session.  Setting up a casual sexual liaison is not as negative as some of the other reasons listed in the article.  Ultimately, the choice is left to each individual, measuring self-worth, and whether physical intimacy is a replacement for emotional intimacy.

Flirt to Get The One You Want

Seduction 101

Everyone loves good dating advice.

Oprah.com featured a “How To” approach to flirting, that devious art of seduction we play every day.   The advice can be boiled down to these three succinct steps:

“Target your person of interest, focus entirely on them, then abruptly divert your attention”

People love the ego boost from that initial courting process, the subtle seduction where you fawn over them with attention, but they like it even more if you cut them off playfully, coyly tease and leave them wanting more.

It’s a classic bait: build interest with engagement, then abruptly break off attention to heighten the sense of a missing opportunity.  You can’t be available to someone all the time.   That little separation lets you create a tension, it makes you alluring and creates the perfect chase scenario.  People love the chase.  Stay elusive, and you’ll stay desirable.  People never appreciate what they have until it is no longer theirs.  Spark that appreciation with a small diversion and you’re flirting will help you get the one you want.

Never Say This On A First Date

First dates are always the hardest. The pressure to be perfect can be unnerving, not to mention outright embarrassing at times. Even if the evening is going great, sometimes your date utters the most baffling set of words, resulting in a complete deal breaker.

CNN’s advice, Don’t Say THIS to a New Date, humorously covers the topic with a list of items that should never be discussed on a first date. Check it out, and share any topics you think should have made the list in the comments section below.

For example, we thought marriage should have made the list

I Don’t Love You Anymore… Goodbye

The title for this post is a quote from the movie “Closer” starring Natalie Portman. It’s the break-up line she uses to crush the hopes of Jude Law at the end of the film. Frankly, I love this quote.

It is an honest way (brutal i know) to end a relationship. Rather than placating the other person with excuses and poor explanations, this allows the pain, destruction, and hurt their proper place: up front and center stage with no distractions.

It is unambiguous and final. “I’m leaving, it’s over.” I can think of few things more difficult than having to end a long-term relationship with someone you have cared deeply about, aside from extreme situations like admitting to infidelity or facing death in the family.

The break-up is something central to all of our lives. NPR’s radio program “This American Life” did a wonderful piece on this subject entitled Break Up. Covering the whole spectrum of letting-go and moving on, the show discusses everything from the story of a young teen getting “dumped” and living with a broken heart to the intricacies of divorce.

If you have the time, take a good listen and explore one of the harder sides of love.

- Bill Thompson

Finding the Pieces Without the Puzzle… OnlineBootyCall.com

How to Approach A Booty Call

The fellas from OnlineBootyCall.com came up with great advice on how to approach a booty call online. If you’ve ever tried to advance from flirting on a girl’s MySpace to an offline encounter, you need these tips, especially those of you who don’t fully understand the nuances of a booty call relationship. Yes, we said it, relationship. Booty Calls are far different than one night stands and they come with their own set of rules.

These tips are for the guys. For the ladies out there, just remember you can still get away with just about anything! A slight smile or a wink will do…

“1. Slow it Down – Never start your Booty Calls with comments about how bad you want to bend her over. That only works in pornos. Take the time to get to know her by chatting and making her feel comfortable with you. In the real world, you don’t walk up to someone and expect to hook up without playing the game. It’s no different online.

2. Treat Her Like a Lady – Even if she’s only interested in a casual hookup, she doesn’t want to feel like a prostitute. Greeting her with a line like, “nice tits, when are we gonna hookup?” is the perfect way to kill any chance of meeting her. Although guys react to the physical attraction of a member’s photo, take the time to read her profile description if she has one. This will give you a better understanding on how to approach her. A little time and effort will go a long way.”

Click here to check out their Blogs and get the full article… enjoy!

CNN Fortune Video on Marriage

CNN’s Fortune has a straight forward discussion from one of Google’s execs on balancing marriage and life in big business.   CLICK HERE TO VIEW the video.   It’s a good watch.  I would love to hear some discussion on this one if anyone has any thoughts…

For me, it’s honest and detailed.   Very good advice from a talented woman that applies to both sexes.

- Bill Thompson

Online Dating Do’s and Dont’s

By: Moses Brown

As founder of Online Booty Call and active member of numerous dating services, I know a great deal about the Do’s and Don’ts of online dating. My experience has made me an authority on dating, and this advice will improve your chances of meeting singles online.

First, don’t promise marriage just to get a date, women love passion, but they don’t want you quoting romance novels in your first conversation. A simple compliment will suffice for starters. At OBC we embrace the casual mentality, and by keeping it casual, we help people make that first connection without the pressure of planning for eternity.

Here are my Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of online dating:

10. DO keep it simple and casual on the first date.

9. DON’T act too interested; it makes you look desperate and gives away the upper hand.

8. DO compliment her on her appearance. Subtle flattery with a humorous twist will ease you into her good graces.

7. DON’T hesitate to ask her out. Chances are if you’re not asking her out, someone else is, so be assertive and initiate the conversation.

6. DO act confident. Walk into the room like you own the place; confidence is a turn-on. If she’s feeling your vibes she’ll take the cues.

5. DON’T be cocky. Cockiness is corny and makes you look like a jerk.

4. DO offer to pay for the date, guys. Chivalry is not dead. Plus, offering to pay for the date conveys financial stability and good manners.

3. DO use protection. Always come properly equipped if you’re making a move for the bedroom, or even if you’re not. Who knows, you could get lucky!

2. DON’T look for dates that are out of your league. If you’re 50, overweight, and make 25K a year, chances are you won’t land a 23 year-old supermodel. Be realistic, if it seems like it’s too good to be true then it probably is.

1. DO play the game. Too many people write in their profiles that they’re not into playing games. The reality is everyone does it, especially online, so stay sharp player.

Online dating is a great way to meet new people and have some fun. But, it does take common sense and effort to make it work! Feel free to leave a comment and share your advice with us.

Mo