Stephen Colbert on Nailin’ Pailin

Click to Watch Video on Hulu

On the Colbert Report’s “Threatdown,” Stephen Colbert singled out Larry Flint as the number one threat to America. Why? His newest adult film: Who’s Nailin Pailin?

Colbert summarized the plot as, “starring a Palin look-alike that does more than ride snow machines.”

Playing along with the porn spoof, Colbert mentions that due to equal time rights, they will now have to start showing the latest film to come out: Who’s Ridin’ Biden?

How did Colbert describe the plot of this movie?

“The whole video takes place in Amtrak business class. Biden finds a sexy conductor, brings her to a sleeping car… then talks to her for 45 minutes about growing up in Scranton.”

Who's Ridin' Biden?

Gotta hand it to the Colber Report. They always manage to one up the spoofs circulating across the web.

Top Iraqi Dating Site

Looks like our favorite site www.OnlineBootyCall.com is kicking some ass.  They’re currently the top dating site in Iraq, thanks of course to the soldiers.  Get the full story and click below:

http://digg.com/world_news/OnlineBootyCall_com_Top_Dating_Site_In_Iraq

World’s Largest Man Marries

Photo by Monica Rueda AP Press

700 pound Manuel Uribe from Mexico, the Guinness World record holder for heaviest person on earth, is celebrating his marriage to Claudia Solís today. Since he has been bedridden for the past six years, Uribe was transported on a bed from his house to the location of the ceremony. The trip required a forklift to first lift the bed, then the bed was set down on a truck to transport Uribe to his final destination.

In 2006, Uribe weighed 1,230 pounds, a Guinness World Record. He has since shed a remarkable 500 lbs with the help of his caretaker and lover Solís. Prior to the ceremony, Uribe said of Solís:

“We in [sic] love , and this year my wish is to be able to stand when we get married; we are a couple/we have sex! And in the eyes of God we are already married.”

What an amazing story. The largest man in the world can find love, and sex!! There are no excuses for finding happiness or making a relationship work in this world. A man challenged by his weight and appearance, not to mention the fact that he had not left his bed in over 5 years, has managed to find love.

Uribe found a devout soul to fully accept who he is. I won’t attempt to figure out how they can manage to perform sex. I can only say that I am impressed that Manuel Uribe is so open to discuss this publicly with the press.

Today Uribe is happy. I hope he continues to lose weight and reach his goal of becoming the person who has lost the most weight in the world.

Cheers to Manuel Uribe.

More details and images can be viewed at AOL: 700 Pound Man Marries in Mexico

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Marriage?

Via SpokesManReview.com

Shrek, the unsightly green troll, is the reason why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting married. The celebrity couple most fawned over by the press is finally uttering the magical word “marriage.” Although they already have six children, marriage has not been a priority for them.

In a recent interview with Italian Vanity Fair, Jolie was quoted as saying:

“Usually people fall in love and everything revolves around the ritual of marriage, children are an afterthought. We did everything backwards.”

While Jolie and Pitt decided that marriage can wait, they bucked all trends (and logic perhaps) and went straight for child rearing before tying the knot. They are raising six children before making the ceremonial commitment. Why the sudden change of heart? Turns out, the answer is Shrek, but mostly the kids.

“.. sooner or later, it will be the kids who ask us [to get married]. You know, they see films and start asking questions. Such as, ‘Why are Shrek and Fiona married and you’re not?’”

There you have it. Shrek and her kids are the reason why Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt might be getting married soon.

Online Dating and Sex Drive

Online dating is full of surprises and exaggerations. Just like the protagonist in the upcoming movie Sex Drive, people love to stretch the truth in their dating profiles. Josh Zuckerman stars as an 18 year old virgin who lies in his dating profile in order to impress a ‘hottie’ he met online.  It’s obvious he is completely unathletic, but he claims he can bench press 300lbs.. haha..

Lying in online dating profiles is common.  An overweight couch surfer will claim to be athletic because he can bowl a score of 270. Women on the other hand, will cloak their age and weight with plenty of euphemisms. In the end, everyone has the same goal:  appear as attractive and successful as possible.

People feel pressured to lie because they believe that once they meet the person offline, a connection can be made to compensate for any deficient qualities.  It’s even worse when the person is sexually inexperienced, desperately trying to leave “virgin territory.”

This concept of awkward virgins has been explored in various films like American Pie or more appropriately, The 40 Year Old Virgin, and all of them have brought success to the box office. You can watch the first ten minutes of the film at SexDriveTheMovie.com.

So far the previews deliver a good dose of comedy. We’ll see if they can hold that momentum throughout the flick.  In the mean time, don’t lie too much in your online dating profiles.  We know half of dating is an intricate game of half-truths, but don’t set yourself up for failure.  Keep it real!

Marky Mark on Marriage

Now that we’ve been at this blog for a minute, I’ve come to realize just how much attention celebrity relationships get. I don’t think all the attention is unwarranted. Celebrity relationships are usually interesting, especially so, because a great many of them end in total disaster. This helps to explain their special place in the public eye. Right up there along side train wrecks.

Mark Wahlberg may prove however to be the exception to the rule. (we’re open to taking bets on this). He has announced his engagement and wedding next summer to his long time girl-friend and mother of his children Rhea Durham.

What we found unique about this announcement was that Wahlberg included reasons as to why he was ready for marriage and how he thinks marriage will improve their relationship.

“I wasn’t prepared to be married – I don’t care who it was – at [age] 20 or 30,” said Wahlberg. But now, he says, he’s ready for “committing to really making it work constantly and all the other things that go into building a solid foundation.”

People Magazine gives the full story with all the details on how Wahlberg plans to change his life as he prepares for marriage and the new responsibility.

There’s no guarantee how the marriage will turn out, but we want to give credit where credit is due. Mark Wahlberg, great job on waiting to get married until you had shown to yourself, and those that mattered most, that you had earned the responsibility and you were ready to commit to it!

If you’re not like Mark and still want to be free and wild, we suggest you check out OnlineBootyCall.com, where singles actually enjoy being single!

Hook Up Maps

Looking to hook up? When marriage is far from your mind but company is greatly desired, you can always venture to the wilder side of online dating. The personals section of craigslist is always a quick way to start. Highly unregulated, and considerably risky, it’s a seedy realm full of possibilities.

Now there’s a new tool that gives you a mapped view of where people are looking to hook up. At HookUpMaps, you can populate a mashup of Google Maps and Craigslist personals to locate your nearest hookup.

Right now they are limited to the following areas: Maryland, New York City, San Diego, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Virginia, and Washington DC.

Below is an image of results for San Diego with a picture in their post:

HookUpMaps San Diego Results

As you can see, 114 people in SD (as of today) have been looking for some action. If you’re willing to take the risk, now you have the tools to get you to your nearest booty call.

If hook up maps are not your thing, visit OnlineBootyCall.com, where singles enjoy being single.

Sarah Palin Appears on SNL

Sarah Palin finally appeared on SNL, capping a series of Tina Fey parodies and jokes. We’ve been following the Palin mania which spread from photoshopped pictures to an adult film. Covering the full gamut has been a riot, and this video features Amy Poehler in the Gov. Palin rap adds another notable quote:

“All the mavericks in the house put your hands up”

Check out the video below on Hulu

Other Palin SNL videos can be found at Hulu

Facebook Claims Another Life

Yet another Facebook tragedy arises.  Out of jealousy, a man killed his former wife after discovering she had changed her Facebook status to ’single.’   The couple had separated just four days prior to the incident.

The intense bout of rage was sparked after the wife posted a negative story about her husband on her Facebook profile, then went on to change her relationship status to ’single.’  Sadly, the deranged husband could not handle the rejection. He immediately drove over to her house and attacked her with a meat cleaver.

“Wayne Forrester, 34, drank alcohol and took cocaine before driving 15 miles to the family home to attack wife Emma as she lay in bed.

What kind of marriage does one get into where your life partner is a potential murdered?  It makes me wonder if it’s possible to ever know these things.  How well do you know somebody before you marry them?  Is it ever possible to know that your spouse is capable of killing you?

There must have been warning signs along the way.  One can never be too careful about taking the next step into marriage.  It is such an incredible commitment that breaking it can often lead to tragic ends.   Please take your time,  go through the full vetting process,  and enjoy being single while you can!

Full story is here:

Husband hacked wife to death with meat cleaver after she changed Facebook status to single

Madonna’s Split A Good Warning

I’ve heard this advice several times, “you want for your life to be an example to others, not a warning.” Madonna and Ritchie’s recent split a.k.a legal filing for divorce, stands as a strong warning on how things can go very bad in marriage.

The link will take you to The Telegraph’s article on Madonna’s oppressive and rigid rules and just down unattractive actions. I mean really!?! Sleeping on a vat full of creams each night? I can hear it now “so sorry baby I’m not in the mood, since I’m already wrapped in a sack full of creamy crap.”

Then good ‘ol guy rolls over bummed out, thinking: “we’ll I’ll just turn on the tube for a minute.” Guess what? WRONG! Not in Madonna’s house! No TV for you sir. How freaking miserable.

So let yet another disastrous celebrity marriage stand as good warning! Please, take your time and proceed with caution as you approach marriage!

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